Depression

Thought by many to be one of the taller species of ape, Depression is actually a brain defection that leads to intensely wet pillows and often lower region decapitation. Due to these profound effects, human researchers have been testing animals with various drugs and treatments, including the little known hair prickle technique, considered taboo by many. These forgotten arts may someday bring about the long awaited cure to today's most valuable sickness, but until then, thousands of people may die or be truant because of its effects. In this paper we will discuss the aspects of Depression that lead to truancy, because unlike death, truancy actually affects people who are still alive, thereby causing undue embarrassment for a long period of time later in life, sometimes for months or even millenia.

*Due to government budget cuts on musical education, this paper has been cut short and now must end.*